Dirty Sweet Cowboy Page 4
“I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to make a mess,” I say as I stack the bills in a pile and take a deep breath. Why the hell is she making me so edgy ? I spend my days arguing with the CEOs of billion dollar corporations, and my nights dating models and actresses. Yet, one minute alone in a room with Parrish Monroe and I’m babbling like an idiot .
“If you didn’t mean to make a mess, why were you digging through things that have nothing to do with you?” She’s glaring with a vengeance, and her crystal blue eyes are piercing directly through me .
“I was just trying to get a feel for how things are operating here now. You’re doing an amazing job, Parrish .”
She scoffs. “Gee. Thanks. Here I was, waiting around for ten years for your approval so I could feel validated, and now that I finally have it, my daughter and I can ride off into the sunset like Shane .”
“Okay, Sarcasmo. I was just trying to pay you a compliment. You don’t have to bite my head off,” I say as I stand up from the desk .
“You’ll be lucky if that’s the only thing I bite off,” she mutters under her breath. My jaw drops involuntarily .
“Hey! Ho! Let’s take the threats of violence down to a level two, huh? I’m sorry I got in your way. I’ll leave .”
Parrish steps in front of the door, blocking my exit. “So, you’re just going to run away again? You’ve been here five minutes and you don’t even have the balls to stay here and face me? To say anything ? Your mom and dad may’ve let you off the hook, but that won’t be happening with me, bucko. You’re not going to run away from me again .”
“You listen here, Parrish Monroe …”
“McCormick,” she says, staring me down like a rider facing down a bucking horse. “My name is Parrish McCormick. Remember? Do you remember Matt? Do you remember anything , Hawk ?”
Every word she says is like a knife to my gut, pushing me to take a step back farther and farther until I bump into the desk, and fall back on to it. I steady myself on the edge, knocking over a cup of pens in the process that goes scattering everywhere .
“What do you want me to say, Parrish? What do you want me to do? Go back in time and be less of an asshole? I’m afraid I can’t do that, no matter how much I wish I could. So, what are we going to do? Spend the next month avoiding each other? Do I need to wear a suit of armor in case you decide to try and castrate me? I don’t know what to do. You tell me. Tell me, Parrish .”
She stalks over to me, and pokes me in the chest. “Maybe I have the right, Hawk. I think anyone would agree that I’ve earned the right to be furious with you. To hate you .”
I can see the fire in her eyes, but at the same time… the tension. All of that old tension is back. The tension that rippled between us when we were teenagers, that kept me away when she married my brother. I wrap my hand around her finger and hold it there, not letting her move even when she tries to pull away from me .
“Let me go, you stubborn mule,” she says with a jerk of her hand. When I don’t let go, she reaches up to slap me, but I grab that hand too. Now, I’m holding both her hands, and she’s staring into my eyes, her cheeks burning red, her beautiful lips quivering .
God, I never expected Parrish to still be this beautiful, and suddenly, I’m completely overwhelmed with all of the same old feelings I felt for her when we were kids. So much of our lives have changed since we last saw one another that night of her high school graduation party. She married my brother, for one. They have a child together. I know that I shouldn’t be thinking this way about Parrish, I shouldn’t be awash in memories of her that night in the barn, but I can’t help myself. She’s not only survived the trauma of the death of her husband, but she’s thrived and is now a successful businesswoman, running my family’s ranch without anyone’s help. Her independent spirit only makes her more enthralling .
She struggles a little, trying to pull free again, but for some reason, I can’t let her go. And I can’t free myself from her gaze. Business could not be further from my mind as I take in her beauty, her skin, her scent .
“I have never forgotten our night together,” I offer. “Nothing has ever matched the passion I felt for you .”
Parrish looks at me warily. “I loved your brother with all my heart. He gave me my world and brought me Gracie. I miss him every minute of every day. Don’t walk in my office and start right away with this crap, Hawk .”
She pauses, awaiting my response .
“I understand,” I whisper, letting her hand go with a tired sigh. “I’m so sorry, I shouldn’t have brought it up. I’ll get out of here.” I stand up from the desk and start to make my way toward the door .
But then, suddenly, Parrish stands up and walks over to me, reaching around my waist from behind. She gives away no hint of hesitation or regret as she begins to unbuckle my belt, plunging her hand into my pants. Her fingers brush my cock, which instantly responds to her touch as I harden for her. With a firm grasp, she pulls me out of my briefs so my manhood is peeking out the top of my pants .
Parrish turns me around and leads me against the couch in the far corner of the office. “Sit,” she commands .
I obey instantly, sitting down and sliding off my pants, almost tripping in the process. Parrish doesn’t flinch. “I want to see if you still want me as much as you did then, or if those were just pretty words .”
She frees my cock from my briefs as she slides them down to my ankles. I am fully erect and completely exposed in front of her. She pauses to take in the sight of me, watching my stiff dick twitch slightly in anticipation .
Sitting on the floor in front of me, she leans over and runs her tongue from the base of my cock to the tip, wrapping her lips around the head and sucking lightly. I moan in response, placing my hand at the back of her head to help her take more of me into her mouth. She lets go and sits back. “Not yet,” she says mischievously, and begins kissing the length of me up and down, alternating with tiny, playful bites that are just enough to tease without hurting me. She runs her tongue around my head, pausing to quickly insert me into her mouth before continuing her game .
There’s nothing I can do. I am putty in her hands as she coaxes and plays with me. Suddenly, taking me in one of her hands, she plunges my cock deep into her mouth. I shout in pleasure in response. All of her teasing has made me incredibly sensitive, and the sensation of being wrapped up in her is amazing. I hear her whimper quietly as she tries to push me deep into her throat, wrapping her tongue around me as she takes me in and out of her mouth .
Memories of our night together come flooding back, and I am overcome with all of those same old feelings. How could I have ever walked away from our connection ?
As much as I want her to finish me with her expert mouth, I need to show her how deeply I have missed her, I have craved her, for all of these years. I grab both of her arms and pull her off of me. I’m so close to coming, but I can’t, not yet. I want to fill her once more .
Gently, I guide Parrish to kneel on top of me, facing me. I kiss her first tenderly, and then again and again, my passion and my desire for her overcoming me completely. I reach under her pencil skirt and push it up around her waist, running my hands up her gorgeous legs. She’s wearing black lace panties, which seem a little impractical for daily use. Was she hoping for this too? Was she planning this ?
I run my fingers over her panties, feeling her shiver with expectation. Hooking my fingers into the crotch of the thin lace, I move them aside. Parrish knows what I want, and lifts herself up over my cock, sliding herself down onto me with a sigh .
Parrish puts her hands firmly on the back of the couch and begins moving her hips forward and back as my cock slides ever deeper into her. We are like two puzzle pieces who have finally found one another again. I fit in her perfectly .
I grab her hips to help her lift herself up and down on top of me, letting her adjust to the size of me. She doesn’t need too much time though, and quickly increases her pace, bouncing vigorously on top of me .
“Parrish. I… I have missed you for so long,” I manage to say. But Parrish doesn’t say anything. She doesn’t even turn to look at me. She just whispers ,
“I need you to leave, Hawk. Now .”
I don’t know what to say. I don’t know what to think. But there is a deep, abiding sadness in her eyes that tells me now is not the time to argue with her. All I can do is get up, get dressed, and walk out, leaving her behind. And leaving me to wonder what the fuck I’ve gotten myself into by coming back here .
Parrish
H oly shit. Oh, holy shit. What did I just do? What did I just do with… Hawk? I can’t believe that happened. Oh… shit .
Of all the mistakes I’ve made in my life, and I’ve made plenty, I’m pretty sure what Hawk and I just did in my office ranks up near the top. When he was yelling at me, all I wanted to do was kick him in the groin and leave him writhing on the floor. Instead, we ended up… On the couch in my office …
Oh, god .
I have no idea where Hawk went after I told him to leave… he just got dressed and disappeared out of the office without so much as a word, and I don’t have time to worry about it. Anna was just watching Gracie long enough for me to come to the office and answer some phone calls, and I’m not quite sure how to explain that I’ve been gone for over an hour. I also don’t know how I’m going to explain the flushed look on my face, or the absolute, abject embarrassment in my eyes .
I wish I understood what switch flipped in my head to make me think that was a good idea, to think there was any benefit to letting my body take over and shove my brain to the background. Because that is exactly what happened. For the first in years, I stopped thinking. My mind completely shut down. All of my worries, my fears, my panic over raising Gracie alone, my grief, everything melted into the background and I was left with nothing but pure, overwhelming desire. It was the exact same swell of emotions I felt all those years ago with Hawk in the barn; it felt like I was a carefree kid again, with nothing but her future ahead of her .
Except, that isn’t reality. The reality is that I’m standing outside of the door of the main house, my hand on the door knob, for some reason afraid to turn it because I don’t know if Hawk is inside or not. I need to get back to Gracie, and get her ready for dinner, but all I can do is stand here, my hand on the handle, staring at the bright red door. I’m not even sure how long I’ve been standing here when the door swings open, and I’m face-to-face with Anna .
“Parrish? What the hell are you doing, girl? Will you get inside? Gracie needs a change and I need to finish dinner .”
I nod and follow Anna inside, but she turns and looks at me curiously. “What’s wrong with you? You okay? You look like you just ran a marathon .”
I laugh, way too loudly and way too awkwardly. “Whaaaat? What are you talking about? No, I just lost track of time and rushed over here from the office. Lots to do. You know how it is .”
Anna raises her eyebrow at me. She’s not buying it. “Uh-huh. Well, can you take care of your kid? I’m about to burn dinner and you know how dad gets if his food isn’t perfect. The old coot. It’s going to be worse with Hawk here .”
I laugh awkwardly again. “Yup, you got that right .”
Anna stops dead in her tracks and spins around, pointing an accusatory finger at me. “What did you do ?”
“What?” I ask, trying to feign completely confusion .
“Don’t give me that bullshit. I know you, Parrish. What. Did. You. Do ?”
I open my mouth to start to confess, when Sam and Candy come around the corner with Gracie in tow. I take a grateful breath, relieved that I have even a temporary reprieve .
“Where is dinner? I’m starving!” Sam says patting his stomach. Gracie does the same, and he picks her up with a laugh .
“Ready in a minute, dad. Why don’t you get Gracie in her chair and we’ll be along behind you in a second?” Anna says, never taking her eyes off of me. They all leave, oblivious, and Anna crosses her arms over her chest .
“No way you’re getting off that easy. Spill, Parrish .”
I awkwardly take a few steps back, and toward the dining room. “There is nothing to tell, Anna. I just …”
And then, the front door opens, and Hawk comes sliding in, looking ruffled, but not remotely as guilty as I do. Anna throws her hands in the air .
“What is this? Grand Central Station ?”
Hawk looks back and forth between us, but never betrays anything. I hate him for his ability to play it cool. I am lacking that gene. Hawk just shakes his head and shrugs, then reaches out and scruffs Anna’s curly red hair .
“I don’t know what you’re talking about, sis. I just got here. Is dinner ready ?”
“I’m not a chuck wagon! Go sit down with your parents. They’re waiting in the dining room. Maybe you can introduce yourself to your niece for the first time ever?” Her words are pointed, and Hawk doesn’t push. He just nods, turns on his heel, and heads for the dining room, leaving Anna and I alone again in the hallway. She looks around, her eyes wide, as if she’s scanning for something .
“Has everyone who lives here at this current moment come through here? Is there anyone else left who could walk through the door ?”
I shrug. “I mean, there were some stable hands still milling around before I came back over here. I could invite them for dinner if you’d like .”
“Don’t be a smart ass, Parrish. I know something is going on and you’re going to tell me .”
Suddenly, I just have zero interest in talking about it. Less than zero. I want to see my daughter, and eat something because I’m starving, then take Gracie, go back to the carriage house, and watch TV until I fall asleep. I want to pretend what happened in my office never happened. Hawk can stay here for a month, and work, and I can do my best to ignore him entirely. Because I refuse to end up back where I started, back where I was when I was a teenager with a broken heart and no idea how I was going to survive it. I’m not going to let that happen again, not when I have so much to lose this time. So, I take a deep breath, and I smile at Anna .
“Nothing happened. I’m fine. Let’s get dinner, huh? I’ll help you serve .”
Anna opens and closes her mouth a few times like a fish gasping for air, then wags a finger at me, accusatorially. “I don’t believe you, Parrish Elizabeth McCormick. I don’t believe you at all .”
I shrug again. “That’s your business, Anna.” And I leave her standing in the hallway as I make my way to a kitchen, practically hyperventilating once I am out of her earshot. All I want to do is lock myself in a closet and have a panic attack, just kick and scream until I feel better. But there is no way I can get away with that, so I start picking up bowls of sweet potatoes and green beans and head for the dining room. I try my damnedest not to look at Hawk, who is sitting next to his dad and chatting about the stables, but he looks at me out of the corner of his eyes, and I almost drop the bowl of beans .
Candy reaches out at the last second and catches it before it can clatter to the table .
“Goodness gracious, Parrish! You are jittery tonight,” she says as she starts spooning out the green beans like nothing happened. Anna comes in with the steaks and sets them down with a thud .
“She is jittery, mama. And she won’t tell me why .”
Hawk doesn’t even flinch. He reaches over and serves himself a giant steak, then starts giving them to everyone else. “Does Gracie eat steak? I don’t know what kids eat.” He plops a giant cut of steak down
on her princess plate, and she laughs like it’s the funniest thing she’s ever seen in her life. I roll my eyes and sit down next to her, then pull the plate in front of me, and cut it in thirds, then start cutting that third into tiny pieces .
“She’s not a caveman, Hawk. She barely has teeth. You need to cut things up for her. It’s like you’ve never seen a child before .”
He nods thoughtfully. “I’ll remember that when we have ribs. What about your, Parrish? Do I need to cut up your steak into bite-sized pieces, or do you just unhinge your jaw and swallow it whole ?”
Anna’s jaw drops, and Candy’s eyes go wide. I set my knife and fork down and turn to him, all thoughts of what happened between us in my office out the window, replaced by white-hot rage. “Now, you listen here, you overgrown, arrogant, sack of …”
“Children!” Sam shouts, raising his hands. “I won’t have any fighting at my dinner table. And I won’t put up with this level of animosity for the rest of Hawk’s visit. Whatever is going on between you to, I want you to shake hands and make up. You’re going to give me indigestion at this rate .”
I go back to cutting Gracie’s meat, the slide it over to her, not making a single move to shake anything of Hawk’s. He doesn’t approach me either .
“I’m sorry, Parrish. It was rude of me to imply that you’re a soul-sucking monster who eats her prey alive .”
I smirk, and click my tongue. “And I never should have implied that you are twelve feet of pain in the ass stuffed into a six foot sack, Hawk .”
Anna snort laughs, and I see Candy shake her head out of the corner of my eye .
“Do I need to send you two to separate corners to have some thinking time, like I did with the boys when they were little ?”
I start eating my own dinner, and take a sip of the iced tea sitting in front of me, suddenly wishing it were spiked. “Not at all, Candy. We’re going to be just fine, aren’t we Hawk?” I still don’t look up at him, but I can feel his eyes on me .